I saw The Graduate, started listening to Simon and Garfunkel

I've decided recently that I'll grow my hair out. One of my friends said that longer hair of mine would naturally turn to dreadlocks. Clearly, she understands little of Jew hair. I guess that for some reason, since I've been feeling more secure in my college situation, I should just generally tend to my hair less. Seems collegey to me. Initially I was going to "go for the fro," but I wonder if this mass on my head will turn into something wholly different. My control over it is dwindling. More on personal news: got new shoes, saw drunken master (jackie chan, 1978), and have been feeling generally better. DePaul's been sending me so much mail, my world is turning into that scene in Harry Potter where all the letters flood in from every orifice of the house. Depaul's owls are many...

I'm also considering switching this site from blogger to wordpress.

I always make up stories and characters and universes in my head. I develop things, play things out, et cetera. Essentially, that's what this blog is for. I've been getting more critical of my imagination lately, though. I don't know why. Getting a better look at my creations, I see that they aren't really as great as I want them to be. I've also had less of an urge to put them down here, possibly because of illogical fears of embarrassment or plagiarism. These things just hang around in my mind, acting as daydreams and fantasies, but I just can't bring myself to make them anything more. I want to manifest them; I want to really bring them to life. Maybe I need a good angle and a steadfast direction...
Those apparitions have existed for years, though. I'll get them out into the world sometime somehow.

I've had a stronger urge to lay off the scifi and fantasy genres and focus on more realistic subjects. There are a few ideas in the table right now, such as a lengthy story of a young man building and dating a robot, set in the near future. It feels like there's some good potential there. In an effort to satiate my love of violence, I'm also considering a story of an extremely skilled and successful assassin, in a modern setting, likely written in an interview-format. I might start soon on the former idea.

Regressing to less productive subjects of frustration (once again), I'll mention that picking a path for my life isn't getting any easier. My options are too many, and my desires too fantastic. The fact that I still try to express my persistent imagination should sway me in one direction. Yet still, I feel responsibility to get involved in politics, as well as passion to gain expertise in math and science. I guess my future is a lot like those ideas I wrote about earlier. I keep getting more and more, and I want to embrace them all. They all feel so wonderful; they could all be so great. But, they are all intangible, and intangible have they stayed. When I try to pursue just one, I never reach the satisfaction I was looking for. Satisfaction in these matters I have never known.

Oh well. I may not know exactly where I'm going, but at least I know I'm going.

New Things

Well it's about time I made another post. I'll be updating more, just because I should. Here's something small, but expect more soon. I might do a spoken word version of this later.


"The Fly Waiting For The Frog"

Observe the fly, resting idly on the lily pad. There is much in this universe; yet as a fly, little could be known. This is the domain of the frog. Is the fly unaware of the approaching danger? It must be... Then what business could it have here? The fly fully understands the situation. It waits for the frog. So, a frog comes, and with a masterful lash of its tongue, the fly is devoured instantaneously. The fly feels only the slightest pain before its demise, as it is engulfed by a sticky red-pink mass, pulled into a cavernous mouth and swallowed down. No, the fly doesn't end there. The fly witnesses with awe as it shoots down on through the twisting tunnels of the frog's system at luge-like speeds. The fly grows more and more distanced from the digestive systems of the frog, as it moves further along, it finds itself traveling deeper and deeper into the fantastic cosmos-- approaching enlightenment with each passing star. Soon the fly encounters god, and becomes god. It sees all things and all time, becomes all things and all time. It can see the galaxies and planets, it can see the spirits and their magic, it becomes one with all wisdom. It sees its former body being digested, excreted, merging with the soil. From the soil a wealth of different organisms rush in to feed on the nutrients. The fly was glad it had decided to indulge the frog. Meanwhile, the frog hopped along looking for more food. It lived and thought simply-- after all, there is much in this universe; yet as a frog, little could be known...